


this broken heart of mine

by intertwingular



Series: prompt fills [1]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, M/M, everyone deserves happiness but im an ass so there's none of tHAT, i dont make the rules thats how it is, inappropriately romantic meanings to holding a sword to ur boyfriend's neck, kanda has zero luck in love bc everyone he loves basically dies, prompt fill over on tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 10:36:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11011725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intertwingular/pseuds/intertwingular
Summary: kanda yuu loves (and loses) exactly twice.





	this broken heart of mine

**Author's Note:**

> a prompt fill for elliot over on my [tumblr.](starbxrn.tumblr.com)

**Losing Alma is like losing a limb.** Yuu cradles his crumbling body close, in the ruins of a once great city, and tries to pretend that he can’t feel the accusing stares of the dead prickling down his spine. (he remembers watching lala die, the cube of innocence glowing soft and green in cupped, gloved hands, remembers watching as they try to honor her last wish. a living doll, kanda remembers scoffing, she’s not _human_. the subtle irony of that, with alma’s disintegrating body in his hands, is a little _too_ on point.) 

Another moment passes, and there is less and less of Alma to hold, and Yuu is _tired_. He wants to rest here, in the ruins of Mater with Alma, wants to find _peace_ within eternal sleep. But - Alma’s weak, fading fingers scrabble feebly for purchase on Yuu’s wrist, catching for a moment on the jut of his wrist bone, then sliding off, fingers weakly tracing the scabs and scars from a battle hard won (is this truly victory, yuu wants to ask) and Yuu leans closer. 

Alma murmurs something into his ear, voice as fragile as the leaves in autumn and as faint as the passing breeze that shakes them. “ _Live,_ ” he whispers. 

(and yuu is weak to alma, as he was always wont to be, and he nods, eyes watery, and throat too tight to speak. alma fades away with a smile, and yuu thinks that there can be no crueler goodbye than this.)

* * *

“If…if the Noah wins, you have to kill me,” Allen says. His eyes are steely, hard and resolute. A _stupid_ martyr to the end. Yuu stares at him, and tries not to scream. Johnny is out - gathering food, materials, intel - and it’s just them in a tiny room, in a weathered, beat down inn, in the seediest part of this damn city. 

There are two beds in this room, white sheets yellowed with age, and Allen’s hair is turning rose in the setting sun, and he is _fearless_ , even as Yuu holds Mugen to his neck, silver blade flashing. Yuu stares at Allen - stupid, fearless, altruistic Allen, a _fucking martyr_ , even to the _very goddamn end_ \- and as sudden and startling as a bolt of lightning from a robin’s egg sky, Yuu thinks that maybe, his heart might not be able to handle another shattering. 

“Do you hear me?” Allen says, and a flash of fear and apprehension flashes across his eyes, just as quick to leave as it is to come. “ _Kanda!_ Are you listening?” 

Yuu presses Mugen’s blade closer to Allen’s neck, close enough that blood begins to blossom on it’s edge. He can’t trust himself to speak, but he knows that this action alone is enough. 

“Thank you,” Allen murmurs, after Yuu has cleaned Mugen of blood, and the innocence blade has sunk back into Yuu’s skin. Soft, and tentative, he reaches between them, across the chasm, and takes Yuu’s hands in his own. “I’m sorry,” he whispers to their joined hands. “I wish there was another way.” 

But there isn’t, and Yuu closes his eyes, leaning forwards until his forehead knocks against Allen’s and knows that there can be no crueler goodbye than this.

**Author's Note:**

> prompts are open on my tumblr!


End file.
